Is my baby ready?

 Is my baby ready?

With less than two weeks to go until the release day of my chapbook, I have been asking myself have I let it out into the world too soon. Should I have waited a bit longer? Is it the best possible it can be? Does it need more polishing? The answer to all those questions could be a resounding yes. I could have waited a bit longer.

What if those who read it think it’s half-baked? Indeed since it has gone to print I’ve already written a few more poems that could have earned a place in the collection.

How long does one hold onto one’s work before unleashing it? For everyone, it is different, depending on what you want to achieve. This chapbook has emerged relatively quickly – over a two year period.

Then I began to think more deeply about the question – is it ready? Is anything or anybody ever really ready? I am not perfect so how can I expect my writing to be perfect. I bring my whole-imperfect-self to my writing.

I am flawed. I wake up every morning, shower, dress, brush my teeth, open the front door and step out into the world in a flawed body with a flawed mind. I rarely wear make-up. What you see is what you get, in all my imperfect glory.

Perhaps it’s the same with my chapbook. ‘The Woman With An Owl Tattoo,’ is honest and sometimes raw. It will unsettle some readers; it may be too frank for others. Some may say it’s overly overt, too many references to breasts and thighs. Did the writer really have to use the word ‘vulva’? Yes I did.

As I write this morning I’m thinking of colleagues who have been taken from this life prematurely in recent months. It has made me realise that I would prefer to have my chapbook released flaws and all, than to have it still languishing on my hard drive and perhaps never to be published, if I passed away before I finally felt it was ready. What a shame that would be for me.

P.S. I have a limited amount of pre-release copies for sale here on my website!

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